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Dec. 24th, 2005

Now the most amazing thing: my parents had already decided to move with me! It was expected but I was surprised anyway. See, it won’t be the first time something like that happens in my family, many parents had already changed their lives in order to be with their "kids" who had to move to other cities/states. And both of my parents are already retired, so in fact there’s nothing binding them here. Both of them are excited with the idea, in fact we’ve been spending several pleasant hours talking about our move, which kind of house we want to have, which city would be better for us... only my grandmother isn’t all that excited, and I can understand her. She’s almost 90 and can’t live alone anymore, but she wouldn’t like to live too distant from her son (my uncle – who already lives at another state and comes here just sometimes) and her nieces. My mother is getting annoyed by that and said she’s going to tell my grandmother that if she doesn’t want to go with us that’s fine by her.

My mother and my grandmother always have issues, it’s a kind of family secret (and for that reason everybody knows it) that my grandmother tried to abort my mother when she realized she was pregnant once more – she came from a big family, with many brothers and sisters, maybe she didn’t want to have too many kids herself. And my uncle was a really big baby, probably his birth was a hard experience to her. And she’d already given birth to a baby boy to carry family’s name, do you know what I mean? Anyway, she took some pills but months later, when she thought she was pregnant again, her doctor told her it was the same pregnancy and after few months my mother was born. Both of them are strong women with bad temper sometimes (hum, very frequently, specially in my mother’s case, but I shouldn’t be saying that, lol), but in fact they’re very different and my mother resents a lot that my grandma seemed to prefer my uncle the entire life. That’s so clear most part of time, she has real pleasure around him, even when he’s being rude to her or careless – my mother hates the way he doesn’t take care of her, how he barely holds her arm when they’re walking on streets, he can’t solve her bank problems, etc. I’m quite sure she’ll end up moving with us, she can’t count on him to take care of her – in different occasions she wasn’t feeling well and his first reaction was always needing to go to the bathroom, I think it’s an emotional reaction but after the first time it’s a sad thing.

My grandfather, though, was a great father to my mother and it’s a relief, she had enough love from at least one of her parents – my grandfather wasn’t too involved with my uncle, which is quite interesting, isn’t it? Is it always like that, mothers loving sons and fathers loving brothers? As I’m an only child I can’t say, I’ve been too much loved by my parents. My mother uses to hug and kiss me a lot all the time, since I was a child and I know it’s a thing my grandmother never did too many times. Well, it’ll be a little stressful move, I’m sure of that, but what is life without emotions? *g*

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
luci_2
Dec. 24th, 2005 02:36 pm (UTC)
I'm glad your parents are going too.
When I read the other day at the group about you moving to another town, I was glad because it' s a step up, but worried if you wouldn't be feeling too lonely.

I guess this decision will look surprising to most of our
Anglo-Saxon friends. Different ways.
adrianabr
Dec. 25th, 2005 04:20 pm (UTC)
I agree to you, Luvi, and even in Brazil it's raising some eyebrows. It's not quite usual, but as I said other relatives had done that before in my family. Anyway me and my parents have a strong relationship, even when I was an annoying teen I never had a real issue with them and it'd be an awful thing to be so distant from them - I'm totally glad they want to go with me! ;o)
adrianabr
Dec. 25th, 2005 04:21 pm (UTC)
Sorry for the "Luvi", I meant Luci!! *g*
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )